The end.

Blue , red , maroon , brown.

Then the world goes black.

Submerged in dark and muddy water.

No breath left in my lungs.

I gasp, choke more and swallow.

My lungs feel like they will explode.

My mind feels numb.

Death, an easier option.

A mistake, a shallow mistake and everything falls apart.

A soul sent above.

Memories , they R.I.P.

Confusion

I feel claustrophobic inside...
I feel clogged up...
Drained out of everything good and sane.

My horoscope tells me to stay calm.
To stay focused and to ignore the little trivialities of life.

You must think this is a Goth's blog.
No , It isn't
Its probably an average 17 year old's.

Are we all like that?
Confused? flustered? tangled? perplexed?
You must be laughing on the irony displayed in the above question.
All synonyms of the same word.

SORROW LAND

The grey grass touches my knees
The darkness makes me stagger
I walk , Count my steps
Destitute , Estranged

I smell a rotting building
I look for a light
The narcotic seems to work
I fall down , Power drained

I look around myself
I am stuck in a city of zombies
Where hollow eyes stare
They speak of my alienity

Then I feel a touch
I turn around
Scared , Excited , Terrified , Panicked
I see a ray of light

I see your brilliant eyes
Not hollow , Not dark , Not empty
Just lonely
Rather solitary

You offer your hand
I hesitate, I look back
Then you hum a melody
I remember it , Distantly

I let go of my fears
I grasp your hand
You seem like a blessing
I am sure, I am sure of YOU

Years later I am standing
Here again
Feeling the same way
But you are still beside me

The grass is taller now
The rot still eminent
The black still alive
But we are still holding hands

You take a first step
I follow
We cross the land of sorrow,
Misery


We see no more of darkness
The devil is dead
The enemy defeated
The game , OVER

Losing hope...

Sometimes I might act clueless and sometimes I might get lost. That time I would want you to help me and find me. Sometimes I might try... really try. But that's just coz I don't wanna give up without a fight. But sometimes I doubt whether I fight to much , coz everything I do you make me feel like I am wrong , like its all always my fault. Its not always my fault , its not even yours but at times like these instead of going against me and leaving me alone just exactly when I need you to answer is not gonna help. Just tell me what to do. Coz all my right "attempts" are wrong for you and I have know idea what you mean by "right".If you want something , ASK for it.
I am tired of figuring out what you want. You know what I want and I know you can give it to me. We just need to start somewhere. Either start the end , or either end this stage of restlessness.