An Insomniac

My existence is getting hazy.
The lines of distinction between imagination and reality are fading.

The water colours are drowning.
The sounds are making waves.

My mind feels numb.
My body, grasped by horror.

And then, that blissful silent sigh.
I am finally asleep.

Happy Birthday , DIABLO CODY!

I almost forgot...

A VERY VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DIABLO CODY!!!
Have a great life and keep writing many more amazing scripts like this epic one!
You are the writer of my MOST FAV MOVIE OF ALL TIMES , JUNO!!!!

To all those of you who haven't seen the movie , do see!!
Its about a 16 year old getting pregnant , getting stuck in a pickle and eventually growing up by facing the little bumps in life!

A very sweet , cute , Pathetically well made feel-good-for-yourself kinda movie!!!

Just to mention one of my fav quotes from this movie :
"Honey , Doctors are sadists who like to play god and watch lesser people scream"


Do you need any more reasons to watch the movie?

GO GRAB A CD!

Farewell, My love...

There is this quote I read a couple of days back , and I thought I had to write something on it...

“Sometimes we need to hold our head high, blink back the tears , and just say GOOD-BYE.”

Good byes have been the thorn of our society since time immemorial.I hate goodbyes, and truthfully speaking I have had my fair share of them. I hate the pathetic crying and saying "I'm gonna miss you", "Keep in touch" , "I love you". Bullshit. All lies.
It never happens. You say good bye and maybe for some time you do feel bad , regretful and you make an attempt to "stay in touch".... But how long does that last?

So , coming back to the topic. I thought I would dedicate this article to all the people I really did miss (for a period of time , mind you)after they left or I did.

If you have followed this blog then I guess you know the reason as to why I take great pride in being called a vagabond. (And if you don't know, then please take the pains to scroll down and read the first ever post on this blog!)...Moving on is NOT easy , specially if the person has become your habit. But at times, you just need to stop thinking from your heart and do the morally right thing. As they say, Be an adult. Grow up. Move on. Sooner or later the complacency sets in. Distances grow, time elapses, it becomes easier. Survival seems like a possibility.

In my opinion you say goodbye for three reasons or how I like to call them the "The 3 D's" which are

D-eath
D-iffrences
D-istances

Now, the last two might be conquerable but the first, is a situation set in stone. Final. (Unless of course, you are a black magic expert or you hire one. But lets rule out this possibility.)

The lesson I have learnt is that everything is temporary. No one stays in your life forever. So when they go , forgive and forget.... because friendship and love may survive distance... but hatred, never does. Start afresh. Leave the memories behind.. and remember, They are memories now, NOT reality. Stop living in them and give yourself a big chance. You will make it, Eventually.

Best of luck,dear readers. This life is a sea, but to survive hold on tight to your surf board and wait for the happy waves. They will come, they ALWAYS DO.


P.s - Sometime back , I dint say goodbye to a person even though they were leaving. (The reason being differences).. so here it goes, if you are reading this.. this is for you..

I miss you , in an uncanny way. I dunno if I want you back or not. But for sometime, we need to stay apart. Farewell, My love... <3

The end.

Blue , red , maroon , brown.

Then the world goes black.

Submerged in dark and muddy water.

No breath left in my lungs.

I gasp, choke more and swallow.

My lungs feel like they will explode.

My mind feels numb.

Death, an easier option.

A mistake, a shallow mistake and everything falls apart.

A soul sent above.

Memories , they R.I.P.

Confusion

I feel claustrophobic inside...
I feel clogged up...
Drained out of everything good and sane.

My horoscope tells me to stay calm.
To stay focused and to ignore the little trivialities of life.

You must think this is a Goth's blog.
No , It isn't
Its probably an average 17 year old's.

Are we all like that?
Confused? flustered? tangled? perplexed?
You must be laughing on the irony displayed in the above question.
All synonyms of the same word.

SORROW LAND

The grey grass touches my knees
The darkness makes me stagger
I walk , Count my steps
Destitute , Estranged

I smell a rotting building
I look for a light
The narcotic seems to work
I fall down , Power drained

I look around myself
I am stuck in a city of zombies
Where hollow eyes stare
They speak of my alienity

Then I feel a touch
I turn around
Scared , Excited , Terrified , Panicked
I see a ray of light

I see your brilliant eyes
Not hollow , Not dark , Not empty
Just lonely
Rather solitary

You offer your hand
I hesitate, I look back
Then you hum a melody
I remember it , Distantly

I let go of my fears
I grasp your hand
You seem like a blessing
I am sure, I am sure of YOU

Years later I am standing
Here again
Feeling the same way
But you are still beside me

The grass is taller now
The rot still eminent
The black still alive
But we are still holding hands

You take a first step
I follow
We cross the land of sorrow,
Misery


We see no more of darkness
The devil is dead
The enemy defeated
The game , OVER

Losing hope...

Sometimes I might act clueless and sometimes I might get lost. That time I would want you to help me and find me. Sometimes I might try... really try. But that's just coz I don't wanna give up without a fight. But sometimes I doubt whether I fight to much , coz everything I do you make me feel like I am wrong , like its all always my fault. Its not always my fault , its not even yours but at times like these instead of going against me and leaving me alone just exactly when I need you to answer is not gonna help. Just tell me what to do. Coz all my right "attempts" are wrong for you and I have know idea what you mean by "right".If you want something , ASK for it.
I am tired of figuring out what you want. You know what I want and I know you can give it to me. We just need to start somewhere. Either start the end , or either end this stage of restlessness.