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Thursday, December 24, 2009

The music of life

I don’t remember the time. I don’t remember the day. I don’t even remember the words. I don’t remember the smile . I don’t remember the scene. I remember the place. I remember the hugs. I remember the I miss yous. I remember that feeling scared.i remember thinking whether I would be able to survive without this. I remember thinking whether there was life after THIS. I remembered calling you my bestfriend for life. I remember the last look. I remember remembering this was the last time here. I don’t know where I was going. All I knew I was going away from you. Way to far away for me to reach out. Way to far away for a mid night call , for smiles over phones , for early morning hugs and for late night”wish you were here” . I knew the music of my life was going to change. But I never knew that the transition from rock to slow jazz would be that hurting

Music , music of life changed everything . my thinking , my words , my feelings , my looks , my smiles , my entire meaning of happiness.

Now I stay with all I ever knew gone, Washed away in the flow of time. The past is gone .my eyes search for you even though I know you are not there for anything. Nothing . it’s all empty now. The party is over guys. The music has ended, the music of LIFE has ended.


Happiness is probably not having everything you want. It is probably liking at some point of time everything you have.

It takes time to adapt to changes, but once those changes start getting old and you start accepting them rather than running away .Even they can make you pretty complacent. Maybe because somewhere in the back of your heart you know that you can’t change whatever has happened how much you want to.

You start feeling like this is the reality. All other memories feel so far away and different from the present ones that you start doubting yourself whether it was even reality you lived in. Those faraway times feel like dreams. They look so real, every piece in its perfect place but somehow like dreams you can’t touch them or feel them and it seems like your mind just conjured up these images to remind you how bad the latest times were.

But when you start getting all cozy in the present they become more and more distant….more faraway.
But still every time you think of them you just wish you could go back just once to feel how you felt and to remind you that yes that WAS “my reality”….