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Thursday, May 5, 2011

Awwwwwh!!! Fuck!!! NOT HER!!!

So! Ever known a person who you have hated and yet secretly admired? You knew she was better and and you hated for being better at something you liked to call "your field of expertise"? Well. I went through it and it angered me and made me feel small. I always felt like she had to get out of my way for me to get my chance at the spotlight. When ever she did something extraordinary I watched from the sidelines but NEVER openly joined in the appreciation she was receiving from everyone else.

Let's face it, life is a ruthless game. You need to push people out to get your own way. TO SURVIVE.
But don't worry, I never had the guts to push her out. she was too powerful and I was too scared. Naive , perhaps too.

And then you've moved on with your life and she's out. You're away. and suddenly she makes a presence back. She's weak now. And you are well, er... not better then what you were. Maybe the same you were back then. But now she's not good anymore. And you realise hey! YOU are BETTER! Well at least wayyyyyy better than her now!

You get excited . And your confidence grrows. She was falling like a house of cards and you were standing on the sidelines watching with disdainful glee. Were you happy? yep , you were going berserk with joy!

Do I sound sadistic? Ha. I don't care. She was a silent enemy. And now she's no more. I'm better. And WE BOTH know. ;)

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Don't Care no more

After very phase in my life I've been through some very hard transitions. When going from one phase to another , I've realised I become too careless and don't think about what the older people think of me , now that I have a new set to impress. But also , I've seen that people don't like progress. Especially if you are progressing and they are not. Even if you give them no competition what so ever now, they just don't like it. When they are in the old phase and they see you get foward , they get jealous and they start bitching.

I mean , get a grip guys. I'm not giving you any competition any more so why can't you just be happy for me? I'd like appreciation for my efforts , thank you very much.

I believe that during every transition you need to put the previous people you were with in two categories..
A) The important
B) The rest

It's easier that way you know. The important people , you take them foward. The rest , you call them a good memory and move foward taking the memories but not necesarily them with you.

I'm sorry if any of my readers find this blog post too confusing.. I just have a lot on my mind I need to say.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Life's like that.

They were sitting outside on the terrace on a crisp February morning sipping their green tea , reading the newspaper and making light conversation regarding their plans for that day. While casually flipping through the paper, he looked at her and asked her what she wanted to do. She was occupied, thinking of the work to be done to the roses in the garden and so she murmured a slow ,"I don't know."

As usual , he laid down her options for her. He said "We could either go to the club for a game of lawn tennis or we could either go to that wine seminar". Now he knew that she was a decent wine enthusiast and she was keen on going to that seminar. She knew too , that he wanted to play a game of tennis for quite a while and had just complained about his canvas gathering dust.

She stopped her rose musings for a minute , looked at him over the newspaper in his hand and said, "Lets go to the club."

He kept his newspaper down while smiling this amused smile. He looked at her for a minute and gave her this sly smug "I-know-you-very-well" kind of look. She returned his smile , shrugged her shoulders and said "what?" He said "Even after 14 years of marriage , you still cant answer a simple question with two choices, truthfully". She looked at him and she knew. She knew that even before asking her the question , he knew what she wanted and what she was going to answer. She was intrigued that even after being with each other for so long, they still learnt new things daily.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Friendship of convenience

Isn't it funny how all those "Friends Forever" promise change in a split second?
How all hours and hours of conversations changes into minutes of arguments?
How all the trust disappears when the person you trusted the most turns their back on you because they have got a new shiny toy to play with? And you go on waiting and waiting and asking what you did wrong and getting angry and upset and hurt. And then eventually when you decided to let go , thinking maybe they are happy being away from you and that you don't deserve all this unjustified pain, they come back claiming they had never gone?

Well, I'll just sit here and answer this above question now.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Is this what dreams are made of?

He came to see me that day. I was at home and so were a few other people, all running up and down with a frenzy. Lots of work was going on in my house and outside on the street. People were flooding in and going out. It was a scene from movie.

It was a surprise really. I wasn’t expecting him home. I saw him at the door and I smiled, he knew how seeing him always made me happy. I took him to my room and we sat there. We were going through the usual routine of “Hi, how are you?” when I sensed a sadness in his eyes, like a thick cloudy form of pain. But, he covered it up so well with his gibberish and random jokes; he made me believe there was none. I didn’t believe my mind, I didn’t believe my eyes , just this once I believed my heart and decided he was in pain. There was a reason to his visit, I realized. I was about to ask him what was wrong and what he was holding back, but before I could a voice called me downstairs. There was work to be done. I told him I’d be back in a second.

Monday, February 7, 2011

When wrong is right...

I have no words to say,
What we make of this,
Because we oppose everything
In which we once believed.

We tell each other everything,
And yet we deny.
We complicate simple things
And then we apologize.