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Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Cleaning My closet

So, Grade 11 is over. Grade 12 is here. I am around 4 days late on this "cleaning" thing.
I go to the cupboard and stare. It was messed. Really really messed. My relatives were gonna come so all the stuff on the table was picked up and thrown inside.Literally.But suddenly standing there and staring at all the papers and notebooks and textbooks and fat guide books and hotel management entrance exam books...I realised this was all going away. I mean sounds really philosophical right? Of course Its going away. What am I cribbing about? But today (10th march) is the day I really really felt that immensely great feeling of "growing up". Think about it.

All your life you looked up at 12ies. They were the big big people of the school. The ones who dominated the social hierarchy. The ones who you could not go and talk to. The ones who lorded over the others. The ones you looked up to. The ones you envied. The ones you wanted to be, you aspired to be like them... Your entire life you wanted to be THEM.

And now, you are FINALLY HERE. After 12 long years of waiting, you are finally there. Feeling the pressure? Nah! Its WAYYYYY over-hyped. I always fantasized about it. About the first day of 12th. And probably I even waited for it desperately through out 11th. But on 8th March I woke up. Got dressed, Went to school. I wore the same uniform. I went in the same van. I sat in a roomful of same people. The same teachers came to teach and I studied the same subjects. Heck, I even sat on the same bench in the same class with the same partner.

What fun?!
I felt the exact same way I felt yesterday, and the day before and the day before that.
I wondered to myself... Is this it? Is this all its supposed to be?
I felt like the long dream I had been seeing had FINALLY ended.
Schools not over yet. One big year to go. Last year to go.
Its nothing great. Over-hyped. I am probably gonna go through it with the same fervour I went through with my entire school life and once it gets over maybe I will get sad . Cry a few tears, perhaps. Look back and say "Ah! I will miss it."
I dont know for sure.

For now. I am fine. Just that. Period.

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