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Saturday, March 26, 2011

Friendship of convenience

Isn't it funny how all those "Friends Forever" promise change in a split second?
How all hours and hours of conversations changes into minutes of arguments?
How all the trust disappears when the person you trusted the most turns their back on you because they have got a new shiny toy to play with? And you go on waiting and waiting and asking what you did wrong and getting angry and upset and hurt. And then eventually when you decided to let go , thinking maybe they are happy being away from you and that you don't deserve all this unjustified pain, they come back claiming they had never gone?

Well, I'll just sit here and answer this above question now.

It's not funny. It's never been funny to begin with.
The time when your friend has been away , you were the one going through the hurt and guilt of something you didn't even do. It was you , who was losing trust in your friendship and feeling like you were used!
You were the one who tried to make things right. Things that were not wrong! And then they come back when they need help thinking you would stick around and wait for when it is a convenient time for them to be with you! And then when after all you've been through , when you can't seem to get bothered about their problem they have the nerve to get angry on you! They tell you that they thought they could depend on you for hard times and that you're not acting like a true friend and that you have stopped caring about them! Well , YES! You think to yourself , "OF COURSE I HAVE STOPPED CARING"! All their words sound so ironic because you should be the one saying all that to them!  Did they care when you needed them , wanted them and begged for them to give you their time? That time they were so busy with their shiny new toy that they didn't seem to hear all your shouts for help. They were too busy being "BUSY". And then they come and blame you for your lack of interest? Now that IS FUNNY

You think to yourself , that maybe you should explain what's going on in your mind because obviously , how would they know what you're thinking? So you try to talk to them , make something like a final plea and tell them of your battered and bruised position. You keep your defenses up high, cross your fingers and hope that they will understand. But they don't! They blame you for creating problems out of nowhere! They say they didn't do things purposefully and that they're sorry if they unconsciously hurt you. But at that time , their sorry and their reasons feel like a bunchful of fibs. And you just can't see above the hurt.

Now after this, sometimes you move on and let them re-enter your life but a person who's already done that once, who's done that twice , how do you go ahead and trust them to not do it the third time again?
How do you start caring again? You just can't.

Sometimes ,even though its the hard thing ,you need to walk away. You need to give yourself time to heal and if it's meant to be , it will be. Whether a month , a year or a decade later.Sometimes ,you just need to remind yourself that you're worthy of much more.Friendship is not being there when it's convenient, its a responsibility. A trust of calm happiness. Why go along with something which on paper is supposed to provide you with support and unending security, but just gives you undefined pain?

People change , friendship's don't! With time, they get older and golder! The day you start compromising and making deals and trying to work it out in a friendship , you should just stop lying to yourself and admit it that it's over.

It's best to acknowledge that somethings don't last. Even though its the hardest thing , letting go is the right thing when done at the right time.


  1. Set the butterfly free..if its yours it would come back to you , till then there are other better butterflies out there :)

  2. @Anonymous - Yes , definately . That's my only choice and option left now. Getting hurt more , is pointless. Give to someone who's ready to take and ready to give back. What's the point of ivesting without any returns?

    @Jason - Kudos. :D

  3. Meg Ur forgettin that the person that ur givin back too was never there and that was the Time when u had the butterfly(this frnd of convinience)....The butterfly helped ur friendship with this friend and Now that u have that friend....U treated that person wrongly and Are blaming ur friend who helped u through it...

    Now Thats a Bit brutal dontcha Think????

  4. Dear Anonymous 2 ,
    What you just said makes no sense at all.
    Mind rephrasing?